Thursday, 14 February 2013

St Milner's Day is "World's Longest Standing Troll"

18 years ago today, Chester City FC came from behind to draw 2-2 with Wrexham, despite only having nine men.  They have continued to troll Wrexham fans with this result ever since.

"We just keep talking about it because it winds them up," confirmed veteran fan Gerry Breadbasket. 

"Obviously a draw under moderately-sized floodlights against a nothing team in the mid-nineties isn't still a cause for celebration for us.  We were bored of it after a week, truth be told.  But they get so animated when you mention Andy Milner, that it's hard to stop commemorating the date."

Indeed, academics have confirmed that there are few funnier sights than a Wrexham fan with their knickers in a twist.

"Some of them even go so far as to claim that Chester is in Wrexham's shadow," giggled respected historian Ivor Tweedpatch.  "This is funny, as Chester was built by Romans, whilst Wrexham was built by Redrow... although I think even they got bored and left the job half-finished?"

The constant harping on about "St Milner's Day" by Chester fans has now been confirmed as the country's longest running 'troll', dwarfing such classics as David Cameron's "we're all in this together" and the suggestion that the X Factor is a show about music.

"It's the same every year," raved Breadbasket.  "You see all the Wrexham fans getting together and warbling about how we're still living off one result against them.  They've missed the point altogether and it's pretty hilarious to watch."

"Have you ever seen a Wrexham fan trying to be smug?  It's like watching a child who thinks he's a genius because he's just learnt how to do joined-up writing.  Which is ironic, as most Wrexham fans don't know how to write. That's why there's no goat-equivalent of the Jestrian.  That, and the lack of wit."

It is predicted that Blues fans can stretch the wind-up out for another decade at least, as it doubles as a reason to avoid calling February 14th "Valentine's Day", the current preference of a society attempting to redefine the verb "love" as a noun, and quantify it by reference to uprooted flowers and dinner reservations that cost three times what they would any other time of year.

Meanwhile, studies have confirmed that Chester FC is one of the luckiest football clubs around, as their rivals are from a town that really is THAT bad, meaning that there's not even any need to make stuff up.

Because, all joking aside, Wrexham is grim.


Many thanks to the Twitterer known as Viv Savage for contributing the line  "Chester was built by Romans, whilst Wrexham was built by Redrow." 

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