Chester FC kept up their unrealistic home form with another win last night, overcoming Gainsborough Trinity in front of so few fans that statistics show that more people have whined about poor attendances on Deva Chat than actually showed up to watch the Blues win from behind.
Following the recent successful reversal of Danny Williams and Matty McGinn's roles on the left side, King Seal Neil Young took the rather less obvious step of switching Wes Baynes and Dave Hankin on the right.
"Gareth Bale was a full back, then a wide midfielder, so I thought I'd pull a similar trick and see if we're not sitting on our own Bale," explained Young. "Thought if we discovered one, we could make a bit of cash, see?"
Gainsborough took the lead in the first half when Craig Nelthorpe capped off one of the finest passages of football seen at the Exacta this season with an assured finish. Nelthorpe unfortunately ruined the moment by looking like he'd never scored a goal before, appearing completely unsure of the celebration procedure, then making an owl noise at a perplexed West Stand.
"I think he thought the Dark Owl was sitting in there," reported niche website lastseasonssjestrianreferences.com.
Chester got back on terms quickly enough as McGinn smashed a long range shot straight at the Trinity keeper Jan Budtz, who appeared to forget that goalies can use their hands and chested the ball down for Tony Gray to tap home.
"This is why we let Ben Mills go out on loan," confirmed Blues boss Young. "We're relying on opposition goalkeepers to provide us with effective link-up play."
The home side then took the lead when Matty McGinn scored that goal that Matty McGinn sometimes scores.
"Left foot, struck hard, across the keeper, howling into the bottom corner. You've seen him do it once, you've seen him do it a hundred times," mused club historian Jazz Drummer. "Get a new trick, Matty..."
The second half saw Nathan Jarman extend Chester's lead. The goal had a suggestion of handball to it, but no-one cared as moments earlier Tony Gray had been snapped in two with no-one getting punished, so it all seemed to have evened itself out. Sort of.
The win puts Chester 19 points clear of second placed Guiseley, begging the question of just how many people would have shown up if the Blues were languishing in lowe mid-table.