Friday, 1 February 2013

Chester FC vs Brackley Town - Match Sneeze

Chester FC welcome Brackley Town to the Exacta Stadium tomorrow, seeking to shake off the hullabaloo which has sprung up over the last couple of days, after it turned out that the club's financial situation is in a worse state than the UK hiphop scene.

With the club expected to post a loss of £75k, officials have taken the drastic step of hiking admission prices to £650 per person, which is still much better value than a Racecourse "pie".

"We're also expecting football fans to, en masse, suddenly get a craving for Rosé whilst at the match, and this should bring in a few quid too," enthused CEO The Pet Husky.

As for on-pitch matters, with manager Neil Young filling his squad with people named Williams or Turner, fans have abandoned their dream of a team of George Horans.

"It was probably an impractical vision anyway," admitted Neils Kangaroopouch, President of the George Horan fan club

Meanwhile, having caught wind of Young's new Turner-centric transfer policy, Radio Merseyside raconteur Neil Turner has been spotted polishing his boots.

"The dream is still alive!", the veteran broadcaster was heard to shriek.

Brackley are managed by former Chester City winger Jon Brady. The visitors have been something of a surprise package this season, and are still in the hunt for the title, but some have suggested that the Australian Brady's tactic of training upside down and having half time barbeques has hampered his team's campaign.

"We have to be innovative in our preparations if we want the Ashes back," explained Brady, by way of a confused defence of his methods.

Chester have another long break between league games following this encounter, whilst Halifax are going to have to play a couple of games per day in order to catch up, leading to speculation that Jason Jarrett left the club after being told that the double shifts would still be paid at the standard rate.

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