Chester FC welcome Vauxhall Motors to the Exacta Stadium tomorrow, provided that the visitors can find a Zafira big enough to ferry everyone across from the Port.
The match is under threat of being overshadowed however, as Deva Chatters fret about how to spell the colloquial nickname of the Motormen.
"Vokkies? Vauccies?", fumbled Perspective Blue. "Vockies? Vaukis? Vokkys? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!!!"
Chester go into the game with new signing Brendon Daniels available for selection.
"It's nice to have a player who sounds like he should be a 1980s TV celebrity," explained manager Neil Young. "I had to actually check that he hadn't presented Wheel of Fortune or something like that."
Ben Mills is not available as, after months of chasing him, Young has decided he doesn't want Mills after all.
"Typical man," said one of those female- type humans that you sometimes get.
Vauxhalls are on a silly run of form, but suffer like Chester when it comes I attracting fans.
"Problem is, there are so many bigger brands on our doorstep," acknowledged manager Carl Macauley. "You see people driving round the Port in Audis and Porsches and it just breaks your heart."
The game is expected to be more enjoyable than Tuesday's trip to Workington, if only because fans are guaranteed to be able to watch the grass on the pitch grow.
100% made up nonsense
2% more reliable a news source than Deva Chat
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