Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Gang Culture envelops CFC

With the Senior Blues first meeting taking place in the Blues Bar on Friday, and the Junior Blues continuing its roaring success, some disenfranchised Chester fans have moved to form the group "Blues at a Point in Their Lives Where They Are Not Defined By Age."

"It's a shambles that we are not catered for" said the brains behind the operation, Terry Jacks, 37.

"If we're going to be arbitrarily dividing the fanbase in this way, it needs to be fair across the board. Maybe we can further separate ourselves into categories like Mid Life Crisis Blues and Old Enough To Drive, But Not Old Enough To Rent A Car Blues. The possibilities are endless and hopefully, some time soon, we can have our own kind of sectarianism going on."

Scientist Bobby Grill-Cheese from the Royal Institute of Scientific Stuff at that University they've got in Keele these days elaborated on these ideas, pointing to potential benefits;

"The CFC fanbase is already at civil war, with everyone thinking they're a better fan than the next guy. These kind of groups help to formalise the divide already present. Of course, the idea that all Chester fans over 65 are going to have things in common is a little presumptuous, but looking at The Deva Chat, it appears that most of them have similarly vile views about people not from this country, so maybe there's something to it."

Meanwhile, Cheshire Police are insisting upon the next home game being changed to an all-ticket 10am kick off on a Thursday in order to prevent ugly scenes between rival members of the Junior Blues and the Senior Blues.

“It’s a nightmare” said board member Bark Trowel

“Apparently some Junior Blues have ganged together and are calling themselves 'Zimmer Kickers'. They’ve been overheard planning to set upon the Senior Blues, who have in turn stocked up on catapults and Werther’s Originals.”

The situation is in danger of snowballing, as fans look for different ways in which to make themselves stand out. Blonde Blues meet for the first time next week, which has led to the creation of Ginger Blues. Teetotal Blues have been denied use of the Blues Bar as a meeting place and the Blues Who Work In Insurance support group is gathering pace. Meanwhile Blues Blues, which comprises of Chester fans who like BB King, has also been started, but the membership seems destined to stay at two, due to the lack of cultured individuals amongst the Chester faithful.

You can join the Blues Who Like The Jestrian society by clicking on that Facebook link over there ->

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