Monday, 24 October 2011

Michael Wilde is still "back"

Following Saturday's distracting FA Trophy game against Ashton, many Chester fans have been left asking at what point Michael Wilde will no longer be considered to be "back".

As the heralded striker dispatched his third goal since his return from injury, microphone-hound 'Cleggy' roared "heeee's back!" over the PA system, much as he had done in celebration of Wilde's goal a fortnight previous.

Wilde made his first appearance of the season on 20th September, when he returned to the side from a collarbone injury to score Chester's second in the Cheshire Senior Cup tie against Hyde, but more than a month on, many Chester fans are too afraid to admit that Wilde's role in the team may be as a substitute.

"Wildey's just getting back from an injury" insists DevaChat's lovethewildethinginaslightlycreepyway

"He's not a substitute. Obviously he's on the bench at the moment but he's been out for ages. You know, if you don't count the month for which he's been playing."

This view is shared by Harry Mac regular Danny Di Agonalfringe.

"Michael proved today that he's back" said Di Agonalfringe, after Wilde's goal.

"And once he's scored ten goals, it'll be the greatest comeback ever.  Only a player like Mike Wilde could manage to produce a comeback involving 15-20 games.  Other players would just be in the squad by now, but Wildey is different.  He's 'back.'"

Indeed, The Jestrian heard this mantra so many times, that the word 'back' began to sound a bit weird, so we left and came back to the Exacta after the game, where we discovered Neil Young backing his car into a parking space near the back entrance, his numberplate being held on by sticky-back plastic and Take That's 'Back for Good' blaring from his stereo.  After a short wait, during which Young purportedly took a phonecall about the possible signing of former Leeds man Eirik Bakke, the Chester boss explained that the whole "Michael Wilde is back" meme is his own stroke of genius.

"So long as we can keep this idea going that Mike is still returning, he won't realise that he's just a sub and he won't hand in a transfer request" smirked Young

"I tried to make Cleggy sign a contract that says he'll keep screaming that Wildey's 'back' whenever he mentions him, but it turns out that's the kind of thing Cleggy does anyway.  To be honest, at this stage, it's halfway between a tactic for keeping Mike happy and a bet that I've got going with Gary Jones.  I bet him my entire POG collection that we can keep this going til Christmas.  If I win, I get Jonesy's Tamagotchi.  It's 13 years old, so it's pretty valuable to him.  He must be confident."

Chester beat Ashton 2-1 to progress to the next round of the FA Trophy, but who can be bothered keeping up with all these cup competitions?

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