Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Neil Young's rehabilitation complete

Chester FC Manager Neil Young today checked out of his "Signaholics Anonymous" support group, with the organisers happy that he is now fully rehabilitated, and that his addiction to signing players, which blighted Chester's 2010/11 campaign, is now under control.

"Neil hasn't signed a player in months now" beamed a proud Jimmy Handlebars, who ran Young's particular support group.

"He came to us at the start of the year, when he was signing players like Michael Clarke, Scott Metcalfe and Jason St Juste, giving them 45 minutes, then kicking them out again.  He was in a bad way."

The journey has not been an easy one.  Young suffered several relapses during Chester's title run-in towards the back end of last season.  Notably blonde striker Jimmy McCarthy was signed up and quickly dumped and when youngster Jake Mackreth was signed from Tranmere, members of his support group were forced to stage an intervention.

"It didn't work" recalled Handlebars.

"He just got angry, told us he could do what he wants and weeks later went out and splashed thousands of pounds on signing Jamie Rainford, only to leave him on the bench."

CFC media man Jeff Jeff Binks admitted that the board felt some responsibility for Young's troubles;

"I guess with the funds available to us, Neil was allowed to run around like Roman Abramovich's kid in a sweet shop.  We trusted his judgment and let him run with it, but after the Josh Lennie fiasco, we started to worry.  Thankfully, he appears to have it under control now, though that's partly because Chris Pilsbury keeps stealing his mobile."

Young himself refused to comment.

Nah, just kidding, when does that ever happen?

"Nothing beats the rush of signing a new player, and it got out of control.  Some nights, if the missus wasn't in, I'd go online just to see what was available, and we'd end up with four new players.  That's kind of how Michael Powell came to join the club, though thankfully he turned out to be a good player" said the Blues boss

Accusations that Young has replaced his addiction to signing players with the adrenaline rush of selling popular players like Bradley Barnes and Greg Stones have been refuted by all parties involved.

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