It's definitely not going to happen, is it? It's ridiculously freezing and Rugby League Loving Chester CEO The Pet Husky wants to keep up with the first weekend of the Super League season anyway, so it's just best all round if we say no game this week, thanks.
Neil Young doesn't have a puffer jacket big enough to thwart this kind of cold, and has announced that he "really can't be doing with a game this weekend."
"I'd have to wear a hat to keep my head warm, and I look silly in hats," said the Blues Boss.
"We could all do a Gaz Powell and pull our socks up so they look like leggins, but even then, it's baltic."
Meanwhile, Chronicle journalist The Tall Peacock is worried that he won't be able to do his fabled live tweets from Victory Park.
"You ever tried texting with cold hands?!" asked The Peacock, before cutting off the replies of those who hadn't clocked that the question was rhetorical.
"It's ridiculous, your fingers are all over the place - it's like trying to text with someone else's hands. I know, because we tried that in the office once. The Hairy Porcupine tried to let his missus know he'd be late home, but he used Shark Prowling's hands to do it. It ended up saying 'going to be latte'. She was distraught, as she thought he meant he'd turned himself into a milky coffee. Not sure how she figured that was even possible to be honest, but it caused a right kerfuffle."
Meanwhile, The Jestrian has decided to save whatever jokes it had about Chorley until such time as a football match is realistic.