Thursday, 2 February 2012

Don't let me know what you fine doubt

Following the recent discovery that Christian Smith operates on the policy “if in doubt, mess about”, The Jestrian has investigated and collated a list of variations on this theme, used by important figures at Chester FC and beyond.

"If in doubt, kick it out.  Even if 'it' is an opposition player."
Michael Powell

"If in doubt, it's probably best to sign out of Twitter."
Jamie Rainford

"If in doubt, sign another winger."
Neil Young

"If in doubt, do more research."
Chas Summer

"If in doubt, suit up."
Jeff Banks

"If you are in any doubt, you must find the defendant not guilty."
A Judge (accidentally interviewed instead of Adam Judge)

"If in No Doubt, leave and pursue a solo career."
Global Superstar Gwen Stefani

"If it doubt - WRESTLE!"
George Horan

"If in doubt, give it as a penner, ref."
Matty McGinn

Welshman, Ifan Dwt

"If in doubt, find a tout."
Bad advice for fans struggling to get tickets for the Chorley game

"If it doubt, use some grout."
Plasterer Iain Howard

"If in doubt, they're probably out.  Knock on the door, wait for three seconds, then take the parcel back to the sorting office and make them venture out for it themselves."
Matty McNeil explains the policy of the Royal Mail

"If in doubt, come up with a ridiculous idea for an article, involving several tenuous quotes about doubt."
The Jestrian

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