Monday, 5 September 2011

Bradley Barnes cameo overshadows victory

The Blues produced a classy performance on Saturday to sweep aside North Ferriby United, most famously known for being the club with whom Dean Windass began his career.  However, most of the Chester faithful were more pleased with the appearance of Bradley Barnes than the crushing 6-0 win.

Starting the game on the bench, Barnes was greeted with enthusiastic celebrations from all sides of the Exacta as he warmed up on the touchline, and a couple of B Block regulars were spotted wiping tears of joy from their face using specially made Bradley Barnes novelty handkerchiefs.

As Barnes returned to the bench, the crowd fell silent, despite the goals raining in. As a tactical move, Gary Jones ordered the former Bolton trainee to get the atmosphere going again and Barnes obliged by whipping the fans into a frenzy with some impressive stretching and light jogging. The Harry Mac were quick to join in this time, chanting "Barnes will tear you apart again" despite the fact that Bradley Barnes is a ball winning and goal-scoring centre midfielder, not generally prone to tearing sides apart.  This was followed up by a rendition of "Jerome Wright has a tremendous aerial presence".

The team were roundly booed upon leaving the pitch at half time despite being two goals up, clearly disgusted that Michael Powell was having a good game whilst "Bradders" was still warming the bench.

Mid second half, the crowd got what they wished for when Horan departed the pitch and Barnes joyfully bounded onto the Exacta turf with a point to prove.

"Barnesy's arrival was the best moment of the season so far, and quite possibly the best moment since my wife gave birth to our second child" said Harry Mac regular and father of three Tom McDermott

Things reached fever pitch as Barnes got himself on the scoresheet. He connected with a low cross to power the ball past the hapless goalkeeper and the crowd erupted with cheers that woke a sleeping baby in Warrington.  Barnes lapped up the applause before breakdancing to his own beatboxed rhythm in front of Neil Young, whilst most of the East Stand joined in.  Meanwhile, Devachatter "thebarnesultimatum" attempted to commandeer Rob Clegg's PA microphone to perform a twelve minute rap that he had written all about how badly he believes Barnes has been treated, but was thwarted by a steward who always preferred Tom Field.  Amongst the pandemonium, Neil Young composed an internet advertisement on a smart phone behind his back with one hand, making Barnes available for loan.

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