Friday, 2 September 2011

Chester await visit of North Ferriby

Chester enter tomorrow's home game against North Ferriby United with some uncertainty.  Following rumours that Chris Simm and Iain Howard ended up on the bench due to showing up late against Nantwich, manager Neil Young has confessed that he will "have to see who turns up" before he selects his starting eleven for the Ferriby clash.

"It's a tricky time of year" said the manager

"It's the last week of the school holidays, and some of the guys might be wanting to spend time with the kids before they go back, or use the chance to buy stationery supplies and stuff like that.  We're hoping that Greg Stones turns up at least, as he can play in any position on the pitch."

Stones, who recently won an award as The Most Unnecessarily and Unfairly Criticised Football Player of the Past Decade, has already slotted in at right back, centre back, left back and centre midfield this season, always putting in a good, reliable shift which has earnt him an avalanche of inexplicable abuse on Chester message boards from people with a loose grasp of the game of football and an even looser grasp of the English language.

"I'm happy to play wherever the gaffer asks me to" said Stones

"I'll even take a shift in nets if Danby can't make it, though apparently George Horan sort of knows someone from work who plays in goal a bit, so we might be alright."

Iain Howard was initially thought to be in trouble for turning up late at Nantwich, having been totally plastered.  This miscommunication was later cleared up when it emerged that he turned up late, having been delayed during a plastering job, which sounds comically similar.

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