Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Bring Back Michael Wilde campaign gets underway

With last season's star striker nearing full fitness, fans of Chester FC are preparing to start a "Bring Back Michael Wilde" campaign.

Despite the formidable partnership struck up by Chris Simm and Matty McNeil, many Chester fans who can't handle change or the fact that things move on are preparing placards and songs and will be buying pitchforks from Homebase on their way to Neil Young's house.

The Michael Wilde Campaign Bus is mostly populated by the same geniuses responsible for the Bring Back Bradley Barnes campaign along with some people who've bought Wilde Thing t-shirts and want value for their money.

The group will be able to kickstart their campaign tonight, when Chester travel to Ewen Fields to play Hyde in the Senior Cup.  Michael Wilde is expected to get 20 minutes at the end, leaving a spacious 70 minutes into which the BBMW campaigners can enthusiastically applaud each stretch Wilde performs on the touchline and spew ill-considered bile in the direction of Young and whichever poor sap is wearing the number 10.

"I don't even care if it's young Joe Ormrod, no-one is exempt from our fury" gargled one fan, who wished to remain nameless, mostly because he couldn't spell his own surname.

"Michael Wilde was excellent last season.  It was the best year of my entire life.  I wish I could go back.  We never put a foot wrong, finished all our chances and I don't remember us conceding.  Why has Young changed it? I bet he arranged for Wilde to get injured, you know."

In related news, the "Bring Back Chris Williams" campaign has been disbanded following the signing of Matty McGinn, who has managed to defy the odds by endearing himself to the Chester faithful whilst in a peculiar twist of Stockholm Syndrome, Neil Young has joined the "Bring Back Bradley Barnes" campaign and has taken to egging his own windows in protest at his decision to keep the midfielder on the sidelines.

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