Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Home game to reignite attendances 'debate'

Following two away games, fans of Chester FC are glad to get back to the Exacta tomorrow in order to resume the practice of thinking that they can judge the attendance figure better by sight than the club can by using an automated ticker system.

Despite the fact that it is scientifically impossible to calculate numbers upwards of six at a glance, many Chester fans believe that they can differentiate between figures such as 2300 and 2700 by having a sweeping look around the ground then holding to their instant estimate as though it had been signed off by the National Office for Statistics.

"The attendance at the last home game against North Ferriby, was announced as 2150" said Marlon Poppyjack of the Are The Correct Attendances Being Announced at The Exacta? lobbyist group.

"I think that was an underestimate.  I had a look around in the second half whilst the ball was out of play, and by my ill-considered calculations, there were definitely more like 2263."

Gareth Grant joined the ATCABAATE lobbyists after believing the North Ferriby game had been attended by at least 4000 fans.  He later resigned his membership when it transpired that he had banged his head and had double vision.

"I was wondering why there were two balls, to be honest.  It seemed a radical rule change" admitted Grant.

When the FC United encounter was attended by 3219 fans, Bobby Giles, founder of ATCABAATE, raved "Where can you fit another three thousand in here, eh?!  Tell me!  Show me where!  You're wrong, you're all wrong, fools!" before driving his three kids home in shuttle runs because he couldn't figure out how to fit them all in his people carrier at once.

In response to these accusations, Paul Griffin, member of The City Fans United attempted to explain the capacity of each stand, but no-one was particularly interested.

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