Thursday, 22 March 2012

Blues in Brief

A Young Bull
Neil Young was left seething this morning after picking up today's edition of the Chester Chronicle.  The Blues gaffer was described in an article by writing bigwig The Tall Peacock as ‘bullish’, and appears to have misunderstood what the feathered writer was implying.

“I can’t believe the Peacock thinks I look like a bull,” grunted Young, looking for all the world as though he was about to charge.

“Just because I’m bald, stocky and get angry sometimes, it doesn’t give him the right to call me a bull.  I’d like to see a bull try and run Merseyrail – not gonna happen is it Peacock?”

Phone Booth (and tell him he’s back in the team)
Increasingly smooth-headed winger Robbie Booth is set to be recalled to the first team squad this weekend.  This comes following Booth’s  impressive performances in training, which have nudged manager Neil Young into sending Stefan Cox back to Fleetwood.  Cox impressed in spells during his time at Chester, and his departure has naturally prompted fans to berate Neil Young for letting him go.  He joins Bradley Barnes, Luke Holden, Michael Clarke and Adam Judge as part of a collection of competent players inexplicably remembered as world beaters.

“We’re not bothered what the fans are saying about Cox,” roared assistant Gary Jones. “Robbie has been wonderful in training recently.  He’s been fetching balls from behind the stand and even getting the gaffer a brew in the morning – top attitude.”

Booth himself is delighted with the recall, although the winger has expressed dismay at the likely demise of his vegetable patch.

“Me and Si Marples have been chipping away at the patch for the last few Saturdays - it’s a big job for just one man.  I’m not going to have the time now, but Marps has promised me some beetroot soup when those bad boys are ripe,” chirped Booth.

I think I need a better drummer
As Chester fans continue to moan at themselves that they just aren't aggressive enough in their celebrations, discussions have begun about how to "improve the atmosphere" at the Exacta Stadium.  Songs have been in short supply this season, whilst even H Block have hissed 23% less bile compared to the 2010-11 campaign, according to studies conducted by the Royal Institute of Overstating the Importance of Football.

The quieter stadium is a direct result of the fact that Blues fans expect their team to win, due to their relatively large pool of resources.  This means that the atmosphere is relaxed when the team is winning, and frustrated when they are not.  With very few opposition fans to bounce off, banter is also at a premium.  All this makes sense and hasn't made the vaguest bit of difference to a team that has only lost one home game in 15 months, but is apparently unacceptable to some fans, who resent the idea that some attendees may wish to have a chat with their mates.

"Let's get a drum and bang it down the earholes of these chilled out villains," said far too many Chester fans.

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