Player out of Focus - John Gann

Chester yesterday confirmed the signing of goalkeeper John Gann. The former Rhyl man has been brought in to replace the departed Adam Judge, and Neil Young is hoping Gann will adapt to the Judge role seamlessly.

"We've basically signed him to help Glenno warm up and join in with our weekly second half Backstreet Boys sing-a-long on the bench, if we're short," confirms Young. "Obviously, if there's any danger of him getting a game, we'll bring someone else in. Nothing against Ganny, we just need to fill the gap left by Adam."

"Me and the Garys have had it goin' on for a while, and Mike Powell's chipped in recently, which is why he's not been getting much pitch-time," said Young of the sing-a-long.

"It's not that I Want It That Way but he says he's more than happy to Quit Playing Games if it means he gets to sing with us.  Some of the other players Get Down about it, cos they see the fun we're having and they wanna be involved, but they just don't have the voice to be our fifth member.  Gann, though, I think he could be The One."

The keeper himself admits that he's not done any research, and only discovered Chester's league position after asking former team mate George Horan at his first training session.

“I actually don’t really care. It’s not like I’m going to be playing, or even be here next season” says Gann.

“I’ve only come because I still owe Youngy some petrol money from when we were at Rhyl together. He’s like an elephant that man - never forgets.”

Gann quickly clarifies that his comment was not meant literally, concerned that he may be quoted out of context after hearing recent reports of Young’s rage after he was compared to a bull.

A quick Google search turns up absolutely nothing about Chester's new stopper, and Gann himself has trouble when we ask him to pick himself out of an identity parade.

"Hobbies? No, I'm not sure," he answers unhelpfully as we press for more information about the new glove-warmer. "Oh, I'm thirty... I think. Is that any good?"

It's not any good.

As well as Horan, Gann has also played alongside former Chester FC boys Mark Connolly and Carl Ruffer and says he has heard nothing but good things about the club.

"Apparently it's a great set up. I'm particularly excited about the graffiti on the Harry Mac, the potholes in the car park, Colin Murray's occasional appearances, Elton Welsby and joining in on Big Lupus's garden centre jaunts."

"Oh, and the David Soul nights!" continues an excited but mistaken Gann. "I loved Starsky and Hutch."

John Gann is available in all good retail stores.