Chester welcome Bradford Park Avenue to the Exacta stadium tomorrow in a game being hyped as "probably more of a spectacle than the Burscough walkover".
'The Av', as no-one is calling them, are amongst the teams that would be challenging for the title if only Chester hadn't come along and rendered the playoffs the only viable prize. Ever-trustworthy source of information Wikipedia suggests that BPA - or 'The Av' - used to be a Rugby League outfit before switching to Association Football in "The Great Betrayal", a move which angered many fans at the time, and which still rankles with Chester CEO Pet Husky.
"I'm still hoping I can switch CFC from footy to rugby," admitted a sheepish Husky.
The clash will be Chester's first game in ten days, as the Blues' "part-time" tag begins to actually match up with reality. Following tomorrow's encounter, the Exacta will host a mere three more games this season, with the finalé likely to double up as a Christmas party. Matty McNeil is set to miss the game due to old age, though the striker may be deployed for a half-time bucket collection following his spirited hop around the perimeter during the Burscough clash.
"We're looking to cash in on the sympathy vote," explained Jaffa Cakes, CFC Media Packet
In the media, Chronicle borderline-hero The Tall Peacock will be giving the game a miss, as he has lost his glasses. This means that sidekick Sharks Prowling will take over Tweeting duties, resulting in speculation that the number of women in the ground will plummet as girls stay home to enjoy the sight of Prowling and his gorgeous hair popping up on their feed several times over.
"I love The Peacock for his in-depth reporting, but every now and then you want a bit of eye candy," drooled West Stand lass Hetty Irons.
"My husband's still hoping they let Caramel Lucy do it one time, but I reckon she gets paid well more than the guys, and wouldn't lower herself to that level."
With no goalkeeping cover since the departure of Adam Judge, Neil Young has literally wrapped Matt Glennon in cotton wool.
"Clichés aren't enough at this stage of the season," insisted Young.
"Adam wanted first team football, so he's gone to be second choice at Hyde. It's left us short, so I've got Glenno swathed from head to toe - couple of cotton buds sticking out his ears too. Safe."