Thursday, 1 March 2012

Blues in Brief

Clocking Off
Blues players have had a wager on who can ruin the new South Stand Clock first, with an alternative version of the cross bar challenge rounding off a recent training session. Michael Taylor and John Danby came closest with efforts whistling just past the clock, whilst Joe Ormrod actually hit the crossbar by virtue of not having enough power in his little legs to kick the ball high enough to trouble the clock.

Christian Smith grossly overhit his attempt, the ball hurtling into the forbidden green areas near the car park.  Neil Young barked at the ice cool customer, ordering him to go and retrieve it. However, Smith was visibly disturbed by an Alex Brown tale of predatory animals that roam this area, including some particularly unruly cougars, and instead sent brave Robbie Booth, who hasn’t been spotted since.

Former Players Appreciation Society
Since the departure of Adam Judge, the Former Players Association has reported a boost in interest from fans, rather than actual former players.

Former Players guru Gary Talbot revealed that many fans have been in contact, stating their preference of former players such as Bradley Barnes, Luke Holden and now Adam Judge.

“I think they are missing the point,” despaired Talbot.

 “This isn’t a club for people to get starry eyed about Brad’s volley at Ossett and get delusional about the abilities of Luke and Adam just because Youngy was a bit ruthless with them. This society is for, erm, meeting up sometimes to talk about the cup game against Villa or going to some of those Really Old Chester Fans With The Blues meetings. Oh, and we often have pictures on the pitch before the game as well.   Need a bottle of wine presenting to the Man Of The Match?  Page me.”

From deep and meaningful
Wes Baynes has confirmed to Chronicle scribe The Tall Peacock that his forty yard wonder goal against Buxton was entirely intentional.  In one of The Peacock's classic "obviously he's going to say that" articles, Baynes revealed that it wasn't just an aimless hoof and that he does have some talent so give him some credit, for crying out loud.

"Am I going to have to justify myself every time I do something a bit good?" grumbled the full back.  "You guys want to watch the Premier League - you'd be questioning everything."

Baynes went on to explain that he had granted the Chronicle this exclusive as had it gone on the official website, the claim would have been hidden behind an advert for a ringtone or soap or something.

Reports that the interview turned sour after The Peacock asked Baynes whether his attempt at festively liquidising a Northwich player on Boxing Day was also deliberate, are unconfirmed.

No comments:

Post a Comment